And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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