oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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