Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
