The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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