Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
