I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i dont even know how to be here
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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