That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Quick, to the slutcave!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
