Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
