her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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