You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
