i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
