PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
