This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
