Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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