evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
handjob tips. give me some.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
