I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
