I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
