I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
