At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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