If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
