Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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