hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
