you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
