This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
