he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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