stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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