I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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