Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
