a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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