He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Edward fifth and chaser hands
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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