he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
