Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
