My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I want to fling myself into the sun
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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