So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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