you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
