Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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