I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize