im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I could make wine with my vomit
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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