there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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