wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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