the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
