hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
