why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
