hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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