Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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