It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
