am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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