and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
