So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
