I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
