it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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