wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
