i don't like sucking hair
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
