It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
