So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Porn is love you can see.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
