maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
