i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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