NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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